I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
