her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Pooping to opera.
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