I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
