Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
