I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
