I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
