We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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