If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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