oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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