Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
honey bunches of taint.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's blow job season.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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