She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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