Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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