its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
