I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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