just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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