your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
