I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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