i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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