she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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