just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
