one two three fourrrrnication!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
