yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
