a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
