This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
