sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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