why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
