i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
