Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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