If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
