did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
