Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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