What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
