At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
