how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
