In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
