My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
