i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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