i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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