Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
