I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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