my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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