I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
