census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize