i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
