For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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