if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
