Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
