Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
