Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
