I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
