my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
