okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
