OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
