Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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