Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
