He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
