As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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