Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
