Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
