If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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