I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
