Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
